Elegy for Brian, My Brother Who Has Been Missing for Ten Years | Arts + Literature Laboratory | Madison Contemporary Arts Center

Elegy for Brian, My Brother Who Has Been Missing for Ten Years

At the laundromat off Guadalupe I find
out you are dead, my ear wet-ringed
to the cellphone. My load of darks spinning
in the dryer’s black hole hula-hoop.

When I find out you have died, I am playing 
miniature golf with Jules. The only course
in Georgetown, Colorado. I cheat that
last hole-in-one, chuck the pocked ball   

through that clown’s front teeth. I am reading
peacefully, Voigt’s Headwaters, in bed 
when I get the call. At Shapiro’s Deli 
I eat the best Rueben of my life 

and you die mid-bite. I taste it. I won’t eat 
sauerkraut anymore. I am at the bus stop.
I can’t tell if that man is whacking weeds
or metal-detecting. You didn’t die, then, 

but I was waiting for you to. The truth is I’m 
always waiting. Is that a field of dandelions 
he is headed towards? No, they’re yellow  
flags meant for marking gas lines.


This poem originally appeared in the Kenyon Review.

About the Author

Steven Espada Dawson with a beard in a flowered shirt in front of a bookcase

Steven Espada Dawson is from East Los Angeles and the author of LATE TO THE SEARCH PARTY (Scribner, 2025). The son of a Mexican immigrant, he is a former Ruth Lilly Fellow and Wisconsin Institute for Creative Writing Fellow. He received his MFA in the Midwest, served as a poetry editor for Copper Nickel and Sycamore Review, and has taught creative writing at universities, libraries, and prisons across the country. His poems appear in many journals and have been anthologized in Best New Poets, Best of the NetPushcart Prize, and Sarabande’s Another Last Call. He lives in Madison, Wisconsin, where he serves as Poet Laureate.


February 2023

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